yes! Life happened! and just like that,I lost my mom,February 5th 2017 to be precise.I have not been able to talk about how I feel about this till now. Well…..they said putting your feelings on paper helps to ease the pain,but will it ever go away? I ain’t one to express my feelings,its just something I don’t know how to do. I always feel talking about such stuff is a sign of weakness….and hey….I ain’t the only one with problems so why share mine? But I feel so overwhelmed,I feel like if I don’t say something about the hurt and pain,my head will burst! I thought crying my eyes out will ease the pain,but I don’t see that working….so I have resolved to write!
After seeing my mom suffer so much with breast cancer,after seeing her body shut down slowly,I thought moving on after her passing will be easy…I see her face in my head every time,is it the flash backs?it comes without a heads-up,everything around me reminds me of her. sometimes I wake up in the morning crying 4 no reason….and I wonder how am going to go through the day without her…..and then the feelings of regrets and guilt floods in and then I cry more,wishing things were different,wishing I could regain the times I lost…..times I should have drawn closer,times I should have listened,times I spent living my Life!!! I should have listened when she said ‘Uzoma come home,money is not everything’,if only I knew that all she wanted was for us to recreate that mother-daughter bond.I was chasing material things,where are they now? all gone!!!But I cherished our last two years together,mom I hope you did too.
its mother’s day today…and I miss you so much!